who wants some depression?

[jewguyofdoom]

ack ok i know im not supossed to be all...hmm "nice" or "emotional" but i need to say a few things here this is to me friends only them id send them in this by email but im not in the mood to find out u guys emails and this way its not as akward


my friends, truly youve been there evern now and then i see more than one of you. but i dont really notice you nor do you notice me. im still questioning if i really have friends. do i? id be there for you. even if you just fell down. im allways there just to help you up. no matter which frined you are. but im not...perhaps being locked up for 4 years will do that. i could be more nice to you. just im not sure how you would take it. just once..perhaps once would be enough to allow me to show you all me. the real me i am nice if i choose to be. and for some of you i tend to like you more than others (if you get the drift) but i wont show it. i guess im to embarssed to be my real self. thus i act out!i honestly wish i could love...that would be nice and i did. but she loved another and that hurt like hell(you know who u are!) im not going to be around forever...non of us will and i only wish i could stay. no im not leaving. but if i was would you really care? im not so sure you would. so all of you
Stacey
Kelly
Candace
John
Chris
Sheen
Devon
Ana
Katie
Alex
and you others.....
im not sure i am truly respected. nor am i even liked anymore. was i ever? cant i have emotions too? cant i even be sentiamental? so come on...just once.... i need to know. the burdens are a bitch too. i know so much but if i speak any of it..i will be dis-liked by a few of you. and some i will make. mabey even cry. one is the one i regret even asking (john knows what this is) from now on i want to be thought of not just thrown around like a rag doll....if i left for good..never to be seen again, how long would you miss me? not long hu? figured.... you guys are really my first real friends in 4 years. and yet you dont know how much i care for you all. if i wasnt embarssed to show myself caring. so make you understand that if you go i will miss you. then mabey you would'nt even know me mabey i would just be another face in the croud. who fuckin knows? i dont and if i was that face i would'nt even catch your eye....just a normal person thats what you think i am? you could'nt be more wronge. my past is somewhat disturbing and yet sometimes it was good but i dont wish it on anyone....i have no real ending to this so i take a small bow --takes a small bow-- i just need ask.

if i go will you miss me?
if i die will you morn me?
if you go do you think i will miss you?
if you die do you think i will morn you?

[Dragoon]

Heh, here, you can have my job as psychotic death lover. *hands his job description to jew* Hmm I wonder what I am now. I'll just be the kind person I guess.

[jewguyofdoom]

ah a positvie outlook...well be good in your heart
mine is allready crushed...

[Shuurei no Senshi]

Aww, well you know I'll always be your friend.

...


AS long as you have a computer.

Just kidding, just kidding...

And you know I'm not usually one to say this kinda stuff either.. ;;

But uhm, yeah, You know, all those times I hit you, that was a means of communication for me, it's like a high five or a laugh... I really didn't mean to hurt you, (sorry if I did, it was a bit too fun. <<; )

I know I'll miss you if you do leave... =/ and heck yeah, I'll mourn... the hell dude, we have a heckuvalot in common! Hope you'd do the same for me... =/ tha's ok if ya dun, I mean I'd understand... the way I treat people... =| I really dun mean all the things I do.. people misread me a lot...

Well yeah, if ya just need one friend.. in that one time.. when everything goes wrong, and no one seems to understand you... You know my Instant Messengers. =D

[jewguyofdoom]

the hit thing ah yeah....honestly that was good no me and my brother do that constantly good thingaling to
and thx for that to srry if that post was a lil weird i was kinda depressed cuz....stuff happened...and yeah

[.:Soleil:.]

Hey ben, you knwo im ur friend man...i just can get slightly pissed slighty easily......but you know, its all good, cuz it only lasts 20 seconds! And if I didnt talk to u enough you musta been smoking something, I was hanging out with you all the time...But other then that, yes to all of those questions. Im pretty sure you'd miss someone to quote you saying u think Gackt is hot....BirdCage Rules PPLZ!!!! w00t!!!! anyways...yeah.

[Razor-X]

Well, technically, I've only met you once, but hey- you seemed like a really kick-ass dude! (Plus, your name's Ben, too. ) I just hope you don't plan on dying anytime soon.

[jewguyofdoom]

-dies, shakes head, removes Ana from that list-