ever wonder about me?

[jewguyofdoom]

ok i know name is super cheese but seriously you pepole have no idea how screwed up i am i hide my emotions literlally every emotion accept happyness and if i show anger im really fuckin pissed!! but besides the point anyway i was talking to a old freind of mine...adn

Gj: i want to know if your ok yet
Me:im not..and i dont think i ever will be......actually i was only mildly ok when you still lived here but your gone...so yeah
Gj: same here man same here...
Me:thought so...
Gj:i hope your better someday cuz i need to sleep
Me:ok ill see you tomarro...actually IM you tomarro
Gj:be ok..ok?
Me:no i wont im sorry but i cant revover ever i have been yelled at and beatin for 5 years..i cant take it anymore..i want to kill myslef but pepole would miss me and thatd just mean more pain.......really im allways sad i just show happyness instead i wish my freinds here everynow and then asked me if i was ok...id just say "im fine" or something but i want them to give a damn ask again if they did id tell them the truth...i really would..id say life is shit or something but id mostlikly complain and then id just be a bother....see you around....
Gj:yeah

i found that on my laptop i talked to her then copy paste cuz she asked me too!ok bottem line is no one seems to give a fuck about me...in my family i have freinds but my famly couldnt care less...hey my brother beats me and my dad yells at me...for 14 log years...you pepole dont know how sucicadle i really am
id end it but i have freinds

[.:Soleil:.]

Ha. I know how suicidal you are.

My dad wont let me leave my house. He hits me whenever I ask him to take me anymore. I go to this fucking school and I cant even hang out with my friends because hes too God damn lazy to come pick me up, even though HE picked our house out in the middle of nowhere. So, other then school, I see my friends once a week. Tops. And now hes messing with my computer, putting time limits on internet use, and just being an all around ass hole.

And theres stuff on a whole different.....level....I have to deal with now, and I feel ((hint hint sheen)) like im possesed by a freakin demon which follows me around and drains my energy....its like a continuously bad day no matter what happens it ends up bad.

But my friends give me a reason to live, just like Ben said. You think of stopping pain, you think of killing yourself, but you realize you would just cause more pain for other people. Truthfully, I dont care what happens to me as long as it doenst happen to my friends.

[Shuurei no Senshi]

Heh, I know how you feel Ben.

You know what I go through, And it's gotten worse.

I think I might have to move away... I don't even know if I'll be able to stay on-line...

But seriously, If I lost my friends.. or even just not be able to see them anymore.. I'd... I seriously think I'd kill myself..

But hopefully we'll be able to afford a house somewhere near here... [WHY DO TEMECULA HOUSES HAVE TO BE SO GODDAMN EXPENSIVE?!!]

So believe me man, you're not alone.

I mean my mom lets me do a lot of stuff, but I have no ride anywhere and everyone gets upset when I can't get home or I have to take someone else home... >.<

Abuse - Check.
Loneliness - Check.
Suicidal - Check.


So, when I say "Life Sucks" I really mean it. When I say "I hate people." I mean it. When I say "I don't wanna live anymore..." chances are I mean that too.

So, you're not alone, don't think you are...

[Dragoon]

Lol, if you people commit suicide, I would get some popcorn and fly over to that stranger side of the country. My life isn't perfect, but it's great. Just moved into a bigger house, both of my parents love me, they will take me anywhere I want to go, though they limit my internet and gaming activities slightly, I can live with that. I hope I don't turn into you people, damn rebellious mid teens.

[Fool of an Eriko]

I hate to be rather blunt, but people can be pretty dense and self-absorbed. I do NOT mean this to be mean, but I feel like the amount that I care has gone to complete WASTE when I see my friends saying stuff like this.

I may not show it much, and I KNOW there are a ton of people that act the same way, but I care more than you can know. I'm not good with emotions. But after all I care, it hurts me deeply to see my friends say that they think no one cares.

Because there are PLENTY. Not JUST friends. It may not mean much now, but you know what? Parents care, too. And if you kill yourself, you do more damage than you would by living. You JUST HURT THE PEOPLE THAT CARE ABOUT YOU. Unless you're a SELFISH MORON who's too concerned about how sad THEY THEMSELVES are, I can't see why anyone with an ounce of self-respect can tell their FRIENDS that they don't want to live anymore.

If there's ANYTHING worth living for, it is your friends, like said above. If you truly care about them as much as they care about you (though they may not show it), you WON'T hurt them by taking your own life.

Timeline of your life.

You see, there's much more to go. Even if NOW sucks, it WILL get better. I'm a pessimist and even I realize this. C'mon, people--teenage years suck because we've got no freedom to make choices for ourselves, and people are too stupid to understand us. But it's got to get better eventually, dammit.

Killing yourself is a coward's way out, and a way out that proves you to be a selfish little prick. Suck it up, people, sometimes you've just got to keep going: you're not the only one with problems, and if you keep going, it proves that you're STRONGER THAN THE PEOPLE WHO GIVE UP.

[BajinVegetto]

If you want to kill yourself then whatever, let em do it. Not my problem.

Sure I can do the 'noble' thing and say, "Oh it's going to get better the next day," or whatever empty junk but when you gotta go, you gotta go. Whether some petty thug plugs you for your shoes, whether your heart gives out or whether you decided that life is bullshit and you want to end it early.

Just tell me when you're going to shoot yourself so you don't get the blood on my clothes.

[Shuurei no Senshi]

heh, nice response there Devon, felt like that was directed at me.

I know what you mean though. I think the same way. Might sound hypocritical, but hey, when you're in as deep as me, when you believe that everything is a lie and that death is the one only true thing, you just feel like...

But no, I don't give up. I say I don't wanna live anymore, but that doesn't mean I'll stop living. I might feel quite low sometimes, and I know other people feel it. [John. o.<] and I know I'll feel too guilty with myself in the afterlife If I do kill myself.

So as you can see, there's a chance I want to kill myself, but there's a bigger chance I won't do it. ^_^;;

If that made any sense.

[Fool of an Eriko]

It was actually direted at everyone saying that they didn't wanna live. ^^;

I've got my share of bad times, though I don't talk about it much. It's easier to keep it to myself and just live for the good stuff. I don't want to bring others down with my problems, so I face them and deal with 'em myself.

And Chrono, don't be heartless. The "cool sardonic bastard" role is old and tired, and no one thinks it's cool anymore.

[Dragoon]

Lol, you think that I'm "trying to be cool" this way? It's how I am. Deal with it. Like telling a lion to be a vegetarian from now on because it's only trying to be cool by eating other animals. =P

[jewguyofdoom]

ack i hate pepole like you no respect for another's life!
chrono get one if im talking about how shitty my life is dont say "im doin swell" cuz thats a jackass thing to do man

anywho
i hate my father now more than ever...i wrote this once but i submitted without being loged in so yeah ima make it short
had a grade report from algebra i was .45 away from a C (i havent turned anything in so sue me) and he fuckin yells "your a failure!" infront of the class...i truly felt hate i would have hit him,but i donno something stopped me.like my sence if i smake someone again im winding up in ED for another few years!!!so i yelled at him i think i may have finall put it to him straight. i yelled alot of shit but the main thing i remember is"you a shit father all you do is try and buy my love, well fuck off!"yup...

and now more than ever i relaize that i am like the selected few to have bad lives..alls i know of is me sheen and john...i'd know about Devon but eh look at her post. and being me i have my three good freinds i know i can count on Devon Sheen and John. but most of all i thinnk that if it wernt for yas id be dead now. the other pepole could have moved on to quickly when i died. but not my good freinds ^_^(and id put stacy in there but shes leavin so yeah)

more or less i dont have shit to look forward to in life..but its ok as long as i have you guys there i wont kill myself and thats as good as its gettin

BTW sheen do you know about that arts instatute thing?
gary was supossed to tell u about

[Shuurei no Senshi]

Yeah I have it... err what am I supposed to do with it...?

Oh, and I might be leaving soon too... =/ Not ENTIRELY sure anymore (I really hope not. >.< I think my mom saw a house near McDonalds! =O! ) but I think we are.. =/ *clings to everyone* I dun wanna leave. ;.;

=D' Anyways.. I think. I think I don't have any more problems to myself.. o.o (Since I CAN'T keep to myself anymore even if I wanted to... XD;;; *coughstilllinkedcough*)

It's better to keep things to yourself sometimes.. but other times.. it'll just build up... and you'll end up breaking down in the end... :3'''

</most confusing post she's ever made in her coherent internet life>

[Razor-X]

I've actually tried to commit suicide, on two separate occaisions. (One by hanging, the other by pills.) This could turn into a long story, but I'll keep it short. If you ever feel like killing yourself, you should realize that you're only being selfish, so instead of suicide, you should better you problems by concentrating more on YOU. If you don't feel like doing something, don't do it. Never pressure yourself to the point where you feel you can't go on.

After all, it's better to be selfish and alive, instead of selfish and dead.

[jewguyofdoom]

yeah but if your dead less problems right?eh nuts to the after life I dont belive it. just the asteral plane see if we die whop! asteral plane!...ok mabey that means I do belive in a after life....off the point -wiggels fingers!-

and Sheen your supposed to like finn it out...fold in in half....stamp it with a stamp and mail it...took me 3 hours to get through that one XD